Comments on Rebecca Walker/Fledgling

Lusting for Freedom (Rebecca Walker) comments Sarah Holey-Schwartz

Terms/phrases that caught my eye:

Pleasure

Confidence

Self-knowledge

1.“The way we experience, speak about and envision sex and sexuality can either kill us or help us know and protect ourselves better”

2.“Judgements like 'right' and 'wrong' only build barriers between people and encourage shame within individuals”

3.“I have birthed of myself a wild and unruly feminist”

Pleasure-Always a good thing, just don't let it go to your head, it can become an addiction.

Confidence-Something that I never used to have, despite my talent and intelligence. When I finally took the time to discover myself without depending on others to tell me who I was, the fog cleared and I was able to see myself for who I truly was.

Self-knowledge-what helped me realize confidence.

Quote #1-I really feel that your own confidence with the subject of sex and sexuality dictates a lot in your life. Those who stifle the subject, stifle their humanity. Whether we like it or not, we must live and breath sex. Even those who shut themselves off from the subject and stifle their own creativity within the subject are still bombarded on a daily basis by sex through advertising and even by those on the street who pass them. Just today, my husband pointed out a girl on the street wearing a top that only had business being worn in a strip club. We are real with each other when it comes to noticing others in a sexual way-what can I say, my husband is a boob man, and I have my preferences as well. By maintaining an open, honest dialogue about our attractions to others, we also open ourselves up to new explorations as a couple. I feel that those who stifle sex with excuses of religion or upbringing are far worse off, playing themselves up as the victim even in the most minor cases. Part of my family are fundamentalist Christians, and their teenage children wear purity rings. I feel this in of itself is a crime to your child. Based on the experiences of my mother, I feel that the “no sex before marriage” rule can be in many ways self-destructive. Even living together prior to tying the knot is taboo in many situations, but I feel that it is a sore mistake not to first live with and have sexual relationships with the one you intend to spend the rest of your life with. I cannot imagine the horror of discovering that after making a legal and religious commitment to a partner that their living habits or lack of sexual compatibility must be tolerated for life. On the other hand, promiscuity lends itself to problems at times as well, but I really think that if an open dialogue is maintained, and the one delving into casual sex understands its pros and cons, one could still maintain a very healthy sexual outlook.

Quote #2-There is so much gray area nowadays with regards to sex, that black and white standards can truly put a damper on most people's modern conception of sexual relations. I am a firm believer that adultery is wrong, but only if the two partners that are committed to each other hide the fact that they are involved with others. If, after the couple is truly comfortable and feels the need to venture forth into new experiences, and they can honestly allow the other the opportunity without the feeling of betrayal towards the them, then they may be able to explore new avenues to heighten their sexual awareness of the other, thus improving their own sex life.

Quote #3-Although I can't call myself a “wild and unruly feminist” I really do feel that I have birthed from myself a new, stronger, more confident woman. In high school and through much of college, I had very low self-esteem, despite the fact that I new I had in me extraordinary talents and superior intelligence. When I finally learned not to depend on the adoration of others to boost my self esteem, the real, confident me that you see today stepped forth. There was actually a day when a light bulb finally went on inside my head, and I thought; “Oh, this is who I am!” From that day forth, I have never had a problem speaking my opinion or defending myself against those who don't see me the way I see myself.

On Fledgling (Octavia Butler)

Shori Matthews, the main character in the book Fledgling, really does experience a rebirth of sorts. The tiny, elvish, african-american vampire, who to anyone who isn't blind appears to be merely 8-10 years old, must start her life over from scratch after a traumatic accident leaves her with injuries that would surely have killed any human. Her brain is so badly damaged that she has no memory of her life prior to the incident. Shori is actually a 53-year-old vampire, or as they call the species in the book, Ina. She has no knowledge of her family, or their culture, and must depend blindly on those around her, beginning with a 22-year-old human male by the name of Wright, whom she near instantly pursues a sexual relationship with. It is her instinct that tells her that despite the human social norm, what she is doing isn't actually pedophilia. As she goes from day to day, rediscovering her life before her accident, she flourishes, for she has no other choice. She has lost all female role models in the accident that took her memory, and gains confidence in herself by understanding that she is powerful physically, mentally and spiritually, despite those around her who strive to bring her down. Shori gains self-knowledge and confidence through the pleasure she gives and receives.